Well hello hello and happy day!
Here’s a question for you….
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you want to invest in yourself but your uncertainty holds you back?
The investment could be anything…investing your time, your money, your focus, your energy, and so on….
You can see the benefits of the investment but you come up with so many reasons why you shouldn’t do it, that you pretty much talk yourself out of it.
Now, you might laugh at what I’m about to say…but I kid you not.
Buying underwear (bras and panties) is a tough decision for many women to make.
Yes, there are many styles to choose from, but often, it’s the financial investment that puts the brakes on the buying.
And it is an investment, no doubt about it…the price of a good bra will make your eyes and if you choose the matching undies, well, you might wonder if there’s thread of gold in them there drawers.
But it's not only a financial investment.
Your undergarments are foundational pieces.
Yes, they keep your wobbly bits in place and make your outer garments look better but they do more than that.
What you are wearing underneath has the ability to make you feel confident or sexy or freaky or whatever it is that you are aiming for. You aren't just buying underwear, you’re investing in you.
Maybe you’ve found yourself in a similar situation…
...you know your underwear needs an overhaul but after running through all the reasons why you shouldn’t buy right now,
you decide what you have is good enough for now and you’ll buy something later.
In the meantime the support in most of your bras is at a point where the “girls” look like they are resting in a hammock and the little holes in your underwear become unintentional
On the other hand, maybe you’re an impulse shopper. You don’t talk yourself out of any purchase…but when you get home, that’s when the remorse sets in and you dwell on all the reasons why you shouldn’t have spent the money, and you feel guilty about it.
Women often let their doubts and insecurities stop them from investing in themselves.
Your doubts and insecurities can prevent you from investing in more than just your skivvies,
it can prevent you from personal growth and development in other areas of life such as improving your financial, physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual and/or social state.
That, in the long run, can impact you…. and your life in a negative way.
Because my work focuses on helping women get out of debt, stay out of debt and build (or create) a meaningful life while they do it…I’ll use related examples.
If you’re struggling with money and debt right now…I want you to just take a moment and think how it’s affecting you and your life.
Are you stressed out and frustrated over it?
Are you losing sleep?
Are you just praying you’ll win the lotto or inherit money or even wishing money will just mysteriously appear in your bank account?
Is your financial situation negatively affecting your relationships with your spouse, your family, your friends, your co-workers or even the other people in your life?
Is it more difficult for you to have a handle on your emotions…in other words, is it way too easy for you to flip into bitch mode?
Is your financial situation affecting your productivity? I mean, it can be difficult to focus and think about other things when you’re stressed out over money and debt.
I want you to take the time and think about the negative impact that debt is having on your life.
This is not an exercise to make you feel like crap or pour salt into an open wound…it’s simply meant to give you a reality check….to move you to take action, and do something for yourself by facing your debt and doing something about it.
If you aren’t investing in gaining the knowledge and the skills you need to not only get out of debt…but to stay out of debt….you are doing yourself a disservice.
And the kicker is… your money problems will not magically disappear…if you don’t take control of the situation now…it’s going to get worse.
Debts are not like wine…they do not get better with age!
Investing in you can mean taking advantage of free or paid resources, reading books, taking classes, participating in workshops or even working with a coach like me…but the idea is to take action.
There are many blocks that prevent women from investing in themselves and from taking action to change their situation, here’s a few and they are not in any specific order:
1. They’re embarrassed about their situation and fear others will judge them.
This is a big one for many women, myself included. But here’s the truth…if this is you…it’s not about others judging you…it’s about how you see yourself!
We tend to think other people spend a lot of time thinking and talking about what’s happening in our lives…
truth is, unless your financial situation impacts them… they don’t really care….
If people have better things, to concern themselves with…such as…..their own life, they aren’t going to spend their time focusing on you and your finances.
And if you do know someone who would actually make you feel bad or judge you because of your situation….well, these are not the people you seek out for help.
2. Instead of making themselves the highest authority of their own lives. They seek permission to grow… from others.
It’s not a bad thing to get a second opinion from someone else if you’re trying to make a decision…. but bottom line…it’s up to you to determine what you need, what you want, what you deserve and to ultimately find a way to get it.
3. They aren’t sure it’s the “right” time.
Realistically it might never feel like the “right time”; you’ll always be able to find some excuse as to why you don’t have time to do something critical…. that will help you.
Not being the “right time” doesn’t mean it isn’t the best time. It’s up to you to carve out the necessary time and money to make it happen.
4. They’re worried they won’t get enough out of it or it’ll be a mistake.
YOU are the key player in your return on investment. Yes, it takes research to determine if something is worth pursuing… but more than that, your commitment, your actions, and your decisions directly affect your results.
5. They’re afraid to achieve success.
Instead of feeding your unfounded fears about what might happen if you succeed in achieving your goals….. focus on the positive aspects of your success. How would you feel and what would your life look like if you were in control of your money and living a debt-free life?
6. They feel guilty about spending money on themselves and put the needs of others ahead of their own.
I’m not talking about women who are struggling to keep a roof over their head or food on the table. I’m talking about women who have discretionary income, yet, they still feel guilty because they want to do something for themselves to get ahead…instead of using it for the good of others.
Does any of this sound familiar? These are just 6 examples of the blocks preventing women from investing in themselves…but there are more….
Are you putting off investing in yourself….. even though you know it’ll help get you closer to living your "ideal" life?
If so, what’s preventing you from doing it?
Many women struggle, with putting themselves first but look at it this way…if you don’t make you… #1….no one else will.
In order for you to be able to take care of and support others…you need to take care of you first.
As the airline safety procedures remind us….You have to put on your own oxygen mask first.
Remember, when I say “investment” I’m talking about the investment of your time, your energy, your focus and possibly your money….to gain the knowledge and the skills you need to help you achieve what you desire in or from your life.
I realize that money, debt and getting out of debt can be a sensitive subject….so if you are struggling and you want to talk about it….please feel free to private message me.
I want to help you get out of debt…stay out of debt…and build (or create) a meaningful life while you do it…but it all starts with a conversation.
On that note, I am outta here.
You have yourself a totally fantabulous day and always, always let your awesomeness shine!
"HINDSIGHT IS 20/20, AND YOU CAN BENEFIT FROM IT."
I’m sure that there have been times in your life when you have heard yourself say,
“I knew I should (or shouldn’t) have……” or “If only I had known, I would have…...”
Maybe you missed out on an awesome opportunity.
Maybe you didn’t buy the insurance and found yourself paying money out of your own pocket.
Maybe you didn’t have regular maintenance done on your car and ended up with a large bill from the mechanic.
These my friend, are just a couple of examples of when you realize that hindsight is 20/20. That's right, if only you could have taken a little peek into the future, you may have done things differently.
Of course it’s easy to see the mistakes after you make them. But what you do next is what really matters.
If you whine over mistakes made and let them eat at you…that really doesn’t help you any.
If you take the lesson learned and apply it, then you reap the benefits (lessons) of your mistakes.
I don’t think that any of us could have foreseen the financial effects that the Corona Virus Pandemic would have on individuals and businesses.
Many families and businesses will have a tough time recovering from this but there are others who were only mildly affected. Not because they could see into the future but because they were prepared, they had a plan in place before this happened and they had created financial stability.
They were not living paycheque to paycheque, they were not up to their ears in debt, what they were doing was creating a financial safety net for themselves.
They were doing things like:
- Having a plan for their money.
- Making sure that they had the funds available to pay their expenses and not relying on credit.
- Saving money for emergencies and unexpected events.
- Making sure that their spending was in line with their goals and their goals reflected their values.
- Keeping their personal finances personal, not comparing themselves to others, nor were they trying to “keep up with the Jones”.
I don’t want you to compare yourself to these people. I want you to look at your current financial situation and take stock.
What does it look like right now?
If you don’t have a financial safety net, starting today, what can you do to begin creating one?
How can you manage your money in a way that serves you best?
It can seem like a daunting task, if you haven’t done this before but knowing what you want your life to look like is a great first step.
"YOU WILL HAVE MORE SUCCESS IN ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS BY CHANGING ONE THING AT A TIME."
Quite often when people decide to make changes in their lives they tend to go all out at the beginning. They feel totally motivated and ready to take on anything to get the results they want to achieve. They dive headlong into something with only an idea of what the end result will look like.
This works for a little while but the excitement and motivation usually wear off quickly and can be replaced by negative feelings such as overwhelm and regret.
A great example of this is the gym memberships.
Come January the gyms are flooded with folks looking to cast off the mistakes of the past and live a healthier life. Forgetting that they didn't just wake up one morning and suddenly there they were, lying in bed, out of shape and unhealthy.
Fast forward a few months and many of the would-be health nuts are nowhere to be found. Not because they are losers who can’t stick with anything, but because they took on too much, too quickly and without a plan.
Now let’s look at this in reference to financial health.
The same thing can happen when people try to change too much too quickly with their money situation.
Here’s an example.
You would like to start saving more money so you decide that there will be no more dining out, you cut the Netflix, you start using grocery coupons, you sell off everything that you don’t use, you reduce phone plans and so forth.
For the sake of this example, let’s just say that you aren’t in the dire straights and it’s your choice to save money. (Realistically, there are people in a position that their only options are to either make drastic cuts or find extra income, quickly.)
Here you are, you are making all of these changes at once. It feels great to know that you are in control and you are doing this!
The big question is, "How long can you sustain this?".
You start to get antsy, you want to go out to dinner…you miss watching your favourite programs on Netflix…you regret selling many of the things that you sold…and so forth.
Eventually, you begin slipping back into old habits and patterns and before you know it you are in the same situation you were in before. The only thing that you have achieved is to feel even worse than you did before because now, on top of everything else, you have failed to achieve your goals.
But hey, don’t be too hard on yourself. It's not that you are weak or anything like that…the problem is that you took on too much, too quickly.
Instead of trying to change everything at once. Change one thing at a time.
To be successful at making changes stick, pick ONE thing that you want to do differently today, and do that thing. When you have established that new pattern or habit, choose the next thing that you are going to change and work on that. This will help you to stay focused and achieve what you set out to do.
Remember...it took awhile for you to create unhealthy money habits and it's going to take time to establish new, healthy habits.
If you want to establish new habits:
1. Make a list of the old habits you want to change because they no longer serve you.
2. Make a list of the new habits you want to establish, in order of priority.
3. Choose the most important change that you want to make and do that one thing until it comes second nature to you.
4. Choose the next change that you want to make and do that until it becomes established.
5. Continue to do this until you have gone through the list of changes that you want to make.
Yes, it's going to take time to implement these changes, but you will have more success in achieving your goals if you do it this way. Celebrate the changes you make, and be proud of yourself for doing so!