Glenda Barrington Financial Wellness
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9/7/2020

mindset - what is it and why it matters

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Well hello hello and happy day!
 
I’m sure you’ve heard the word “Mindset” tossed around on more than one occasion….
 
If you aren’t really sure what it is…the dictionary meaning states:
 
“The established set of attitudes held by someone.”

Your mindset/attitude can also be called your beliefs or your stories.
 
You’re probably thinking, “OK great…but how does that translate into everyday life?”
 
 
Many of the beliefs and stories we tell ourselves are actually instilled in us at a very young age…they come from the teachers in our lives (parents, guardians, peers, educators, experiences and so forth).
 

At a very young age, children are like sponges…they take everything in and their teachers help form their perception of life. It’s kind of like loading software into a computer.
 

Some of the beliefs are so ingrained they work on a sub-conscious level and it’s not until people do the “inner” work…do they find them.
 
Other beliefs are easier to find…but it takes awareness of thoughts and feelings.
 

So what’s the big deal with mindset?
 
Because our thoughts often control our actions… mindset, attitude, beliefs, stories, perception…whatever you want to call it…can determine whether or not a person achieves their goals…or for that matter, it can affect their ability to set goals!
 

I’m not going to dive deep into this today but here’s an example of a negative or self-sabotaging mindset…belief…
 

 “I’ll never get out of debt.”
 

The more a person believes this…the more this statement will play out in the reality of their life.
 

Think of it this way…if someone constantly tells themself they will never get out of debt…it becomes their truth. When they believe this is their lot in life…quite often they give up trying to change their situation or don’t even bother to try because they believe there is no way out for them.
 

On the other hand…a positive mindset could be a motivator to help someone set and achieve goals.
 

For example:
 
If someone believes getting out of debt is possible….it changes their perspective…they can see the possibility ….and when they believe something is possible, then they are more likely to take actions to achieve the goals…

Maybe they’ll ask for help… educate themselves…take a course…work with a coach… whatever they do, it will be an action towards achieving a goal that they believe is possible.
 
 
The beauty of it is even if someone has a negative belief or story…these are not permanent!
 

Stories can be re-written…but the work to create change depends on the story and how deep it goes…if it’s something that’s running on a sub-conscious level…it’s going to take more work.
 

Basically your thoughts create your reality.
 
 
Try this:
Even if it feels true to you and not self-sabotaging, take a moment to reflect how your thoughts are affecting your actions…are they motivating you to move forward or holding you back?
 
Think about your money stories…what do you tell yourself about money and debt, good and bad? If you can’t think of anything, make a conscious effort to notice your thoughts and feelings that come up around money.
 
 
If you have negative or self-sabotaging stories…how can you change them around? What words can you use.
 
For example:
 
Old story: I’ll never get out of debt.
New story: I’m smart enough to figure out a way to get out of debt.
 
Old story: I have to work hard to make money.
New story: Money comes easy to me.
 
Being appreciative of what you have can also help you to release negative thoughts and behaviours.
 

For example…instead of beating yourself up about the debt you have…focus on the good things that came from that debt…it doesn’t mean you want to hold that debt forever…but it just may help you release some of the mental stress associated with the debt.
 
And as Oprah put it, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”
 
On that note, I am outta here.
 
Have yourself a totally fantabulous day and let your awesomeness shine!
​

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8/26/2020

live a meaningful life, even while following a spending plan

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But what is a meaningful life?

One description…says living a meaningful life means you're at peace with yourself, with your life, and with everyone around you. ... Living a meaningful life means, on the very high level, that you feel peace, love, joy, contentment and freedom most of the days of your life.

I don’t think we need to expand that because I think it’s kinda obvious why a person would want to meaningful life.

Quite often when people think about getting out of debt…they have visions of deprivation…lack…having to sacrifice the things they love so they can pay off the bills and reward themselves with a life they love.

But that’s kinda like a financial crash diet and for anyone who’s done a crash diet…you know that the chances of slipping back into old habits is quite easy when you are free from the constraints of the diet.

There will be people who can use this method… break up with their debt, kick it to the curb and lock the door behind it…but for many other people…it’s only a matter of time before they slowly edge their way towards the slippery slope leading to the open arms of debt.

But it’s not all doom and gloom…hence the importance of creating or building a meaningful life while you are working towards a debt-free life…..

How do you do it?

First of all…a person has to understand what is truly important to them…what they value deep down.

Then…they have to be a little creative and find ways to have the things and experiences they value…without giving that power to money.

For example:
Let’s say a person values quality time with family or friends…ordinarily, this could mean vacations away…enjoying meals out numerous times per month, going out and enjoying different activities together such a shows or movies or something like that.

Even if they are cutting back on expenses and following a spending plan…it doesn’t mean that life as they know it is over. They just have to be a little more creative on how they can enjoy this quality time while staying within their budget.
They can take day trips together every other weekend rather than expensive vacations…they can enjoy potluck meals together or work it out so that they meet at one person’s house for a meal once every couple of weeks….they can find no cost or low cost activities to partake in…it just may take a little more effort…but if quality time with family and friends is really a priority and is really valuable to them…they will find a way to do it.

So you see, you don’t have to make living a meaningful life a reward for getting out of debt…but you can take back the power that you give to money to make you happy.

To go back to the description of what a meaningful life is…when you are not living beyond your means and racking up debt to keep up with the Jones’…you are at peace with yourself, financially.

When your spending reflects the things and experiences that are important to you…you can feel peace…love, joy, contentment and freedom most of the days of your life.

So you see…if you’ve ever felt that you didn’t want to take the plunge to invest in you…. to become debt-free….. because you didn’t want to give up the things you love….maybe the things you love, are actually just stuff…filling a space in your house…your garage or even inside of you.

Here’s a little action item:

Make a list of the things you love and are important to you…go through the list and at each item ask why? Why is this important to you?

Keep asking yourself this question…until you get to the real reason why….

Be honest with yourself…because the only one you’re cheating is you. You may not like the answers but at least they will give you a little more clarity about what is important to you and it will help you determine your needs vs your wants.

Alrighty, on that note, I am outta here!

You have yourself a totally fantabulous day and always let your awesomeness shine!

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7/21/2020

Are you "Putting on your own oxygen mask", first?

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“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent.
Caring for myself is an act of survival.”
 - Audre Lorde
If you've ever traveled on an airplane you know before every take-off, the flight attendant reviews the safety procedure.

I've traveled enough to be familiar with it and I admit, my eyes kinda glaze over when they’re going through it, but there’s one part of the demonstration that stuck with me for as long as I can remember.

Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting anyone, and that means A-N-Y-O-N-E.

I mean think about it…it does make sense…if you’re struggling, it's more difficult to help someone else.

Self-care is like that oxygen mask…it is necessary for your survival.

Unfortunately, many women run themselves into the ground…putting others ahead of themselves…their kids, their spouse, their work, and so on. Saying “yes” to everyone else and “no” to themselves…until it’s absolutely necessary to put themselves first…and even then many feel guilty about it.

Why?....The reasons vary.


…….But one thing is the same across the board…whether you believe it or not….you are #1 and it’s important you treat yourself as such.

Self-care is deliberately taking care of your mental, emotional and physical health…..and it’s important because these areas of wellness have an impact on other areas of your life…even your finances!

Self-care is an everyday thing…not just a luxury you take advantage of only when you are totally depleted nor is it a “well-earned” reward. 
​


Here are some examples of how to practice self-care:

- Develop a regular sleep routine
- Eat healthy meals
- Take breaks
- Use your sick leave
- Develop a regular exercise routine – but listen to your body and allow your exercise to reflect how you feel.
- Do something that brings you a sense of joy
- Repeat positive affirmations
- Share only positive things on your social media
- Define new goals each week
- Allow yourself time to pause

Self-care doesn’t have to cost you money…but if women aren’t taking care of themselves…their actions can end up costing them a heck of a lot more than money….does “burnout” mean anything to you?

You are your #1 responsibility (it doesn’t matter what anyone else says) and to be able to show up 100% in your life…self-care is something that could be considered vital.

If you spread yourself too thin….you will snap…simple as that.

Allow yourself the time to reflect on ways you could easily incorporate self-care into your daily life, write them down, and keep them somewhere visible. It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic or time-consuming. Every week, choose one small self-care routine that you commit to following each day that week....non-negotiable.

Remember.....you ARE worth it! 

I would love to hear from you! Hit reply and let me know which self-care practices you'll be making a part of your daily routine.


Thank you for being part of my community!

Have a totally fantabulous day and let your awesomeness shine!

Until next time.....

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7/20/2020

8 Great reasons to break up with your debt

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“Debt is like a bad relationship;
​sometimes it’s a heck of a lot easier getting into it than out of it.”

- Glenda Barrington, Money Coach
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Today I want to chat a little about your relationship with your money…or….more specifically…breaking up with your debt. 

Chances are that you know what it’s like to be in a crappy relationship…. whether it’s with a family member, a lover, a friend or someone else in your life.

You know the kind I'm talking about….. the soul-sucking relationship…the one that drags you down and makes you feel like crap. 

Debt can be like that. 

Being in debt can feel like being in a bad relationship. It can drain you mentally, physically, and emotionally but the good news is, even if you can’t see it right now…there is a way out.

.....You can break up with your debt!

It isn’t easy…it takes time, energy, commitment, and investment on your part… and you have to be willing to stick with it for the long haul.

But you don’t only break up with your debt, you want to break up with it and then kick it to the curb so it doesn’t drag it’s sorry ass back in!

Sure, there's gonna be bumps along the way…but you just keep your eye on the prize…life without debt!

One of the most effective ways to stay on track is to know your “why”…the reason or reasons why it’s so important for you to get out of debt. 

Why do you want to get out of debt …..and stay out of debt? 


{    space for the answer to come into your awareness   }


I want you to dig deep on this one because when things are feeling kinda shaky and you’re not feeling motivated ….or you feel like you just want to give up…your “why” is what will keep you focused and moving forward…. even if you trip up along the way!


For many people, it’s not always easy to find their “why”…I mean their real why….

Sure it would be good to get out of debt…but why is it important to you? 

What would debt-free mean for you?

Give yourself a little time to think about it. There are no right or wrong reasons…only your reasons.

In the meantime….

I’m very excited to share with you "8 Great Reasons To Break Up With Your Debt And Kick It To The Curb!"

For your reading pleasure, I’ve packaged them in a handy dandy guide with journal prompts….jussst to help you get those little grey cells of yours working to switch you into a “life without debt” frame of mind.

Download your guide by clicking on the button below:
Get the guide now
Yes, getting out of debt takes time, but you are worth it!  

You deserve to be free from the weight of debt that drags you down and you deserve to live a life in control, independent, and on your terms!

I would love to get your feedback on the guide and your experience with it! Please share in the comment section below.

As always, I am grateful you're part of my community!

Have yourself a totally fantabulous day and let your awesomeness shine!

Until next time.....

Glenda   

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7/9/2020

When is your "right" time?

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“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”
- Napolean Hill
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I don’t know about you…but for me, I usually take action, especially on the important stuff, when I feel it’s the “right” time for me to do it.  

 
A great example of this is when I was struggling with money and up to my arse in debt. 

 
I mean yeah, at first it didn’t seem so bad…things were tight but I was keeping the wolves from the door. I kind of had a life…nothing to be excited about, that’s for sure and the bills were being paid on time. Although I was only making minimum payments on credit cards….. but at least I was making ends meet…sort of.

 
If I had taken the time to really look at my situation, earlier in the game. I would have clearly seen something I was refusing to acknowledge…my expenses far outweighed my income and I was using credit to fill the gaps. Not a good idea….

 
I was working three jobs…I was miserable…I was stressed out…I was exhausted mentally and physically but I was hanging in there…until I couldn’t hang in there anymore. 

 
Only then, did I see it as being the “right” time to do something about the state I had gotten myself into. 
 

I guess I was a bit of a sucker for punishment. I mean seriously, when I look back at it, what the heck did I even gain by letting things go that long? Short answer, f**k all!

 
At the time I was more concerned about not ruining my credit score and feeling embarrassed to admit that I didn’t know how to manage my money, I had screwed up, got myself into a mess I couldn't get myself out of… even though I was doing the things I thought I needed to do. 
​
 
I’ve matured a lot since then…I mean after all I was just a kid, not quite 40 years old ….what did I even know?  
​
 
One thing I've learned is that we only know what we know…knowledge and skills don’t magically pop into our heads…we have to make it a priority to learn these things. Investing our time, our energy, and maybe even our money.
​ 
We have to realize that we deserve better. We have to get over ourselves, reach out and ask for help.
​
 
What about you? What does your "right" time look like?
​
Here’s a question to ask yourself: How much pain do you have to be in, financially, before you take action to change things around?
 
There’s no right or wrong answer…just be honest with yourself…

​Have yourself a totally fantabulous day and let your awesomeness shine!
​
Until next time.....
 
​Glenda 
 
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7/2/2020

You and your money, is it a love story?

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"Trying to live a rich, wealthy life when you have a poor relationship with money is like trying to drive a car with one foot on the accelerator and the other one on the brakes. You may occasionally make some progress but in the end no matter how hard you try you never seem to really get anywhere."

- Paul McKenna, Ph.D.
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Do you ever sit back and think about your relationships with the people in your life?

Chances are, you do…especially if one of them is a little rocky. You probably mull over it, think about what’s wrong…what you can do to fix it and so forth. If you’re anything like me, you analyze the crap out of it!

Relationships with family, friends, lovers, co-workers or the people that just happen to be in your life  are an important part of life as a whole and realistically they are important to your survival.

But what about you and your money? Have you ever taken the time to sit down and look closely at that relationship?


Whether or not people realize it, their relationship with money plays a huge role in their financial success – success being whatever it looks like to the individual. The money stories they tell themselves can guide them to wealth or prevent them from achieving it.

Money is a tool used to allow us to exchange goods and services…that’s it. However, many people have given a deeper meaning to it…they are connected emotionally to money through their beliefs around it.

You are not born with these beliefs. Good or bad, these beliefs are conditioned beliefs…they are the beliefs instilled in you by your parents and caregivers and other influences from your childhood.

These beliefs guide you unconsciously…

If you believe you have to work hard to make money, you will only look for jobs that involve a lot of effort. If you believe that everyone is out to rip you off, you will find people who will do that. If you believe that you deserve great wealth, then your mind will look for opportunities that create that.


It’s time to let go of the negative stories that you’ve been telling yourself about money!


It’s great if your money stories are leading you to a life of wealth and riches but if they aren't….well, you need to be figuring out which stories are playing in your head and re-write the ones that are holding you back. It’s time to let go of the negative stories that you’ve been telling yourself about money!

Some people can do this on their own…some need support, either way, …this is a first step that needs to be taken so you can break up with your debt and create a life that excites you!

What does your relationship with money look like? What does money mean to you?

Here is an exercise you can try.

Answer the following questions and then, to dig a little deeper, question your responses, ask "why"? Journal about the thoughts and emotions that come up.


- If money is the topic of conversation, do you feel comfortable talking about it or do you try to avoid the conversation?

- How do you feel when you pay your bills? Resentment, worry, scarcity, gratitude, or some other feeling?

- What beliefs around money did you inherit from your parents/guardians?

- What do you remember most about your childhood, in regards to money?

- If someone gives you money (or anything of value) how do you feel about it? Happy, grateful, uncomfortable, unworthy, indebted o,r some other feeling?

- How do you feel about your income? Satisfied, happy or feel that you are not getting paid enough, yet you continue doing the same work for the same pay?

- Do you hang onto money or do you spend it freely?

- Do you put off important things like car repairs or dental work because of the cost? What about if you have the money to pay for it, do you still put it off?

-  Do you attach how much money you have to your self worth?

- How do you feel about people who have very little money?

- How do you feel about people who have a lot of money?

- What do you value most: money, material things, or experiences?

Do you see any areas where your beliefs may be holding you back from achieving financial success?

This exercise is a great start to get you thinking about your relationship with money…is it a love story?

If it isn’t, it’s time to start nurturing your relationship with money and strengthening it because 
whatever meaning you are attaching to money is either drawing it closer or pushing it away. 

When you have a healthy relationship with money, you feel satisfied, not stressed out over it.

Remember, you are worth the time it takes to figure this out!

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6/23/2020

"I want my life to be a constant struggle" ...says no one, ever!

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If you were given two choices:

1. You could live a life filled with fear, anger, misery, lack, deprivation and everything else that goes with it, OR

2. You could live a life filled with abundance, gratitude, happiness, joy, peace, love, creativity and everything that goes with that.

Which would you choose?

I’m willing to bet that the odds of you choosing #2 are pretty good!

You may be thinking, "Yeah, it sounds great but that’s not my reality."

Here’s the thing….it is your reality! Believe it or not, you DO have that choice…that’s right, it may sound a little cray cray but you, my friend have the power to choose which life you want to live! It’s in YOUR hands!

It’s all about perceptions, basically, what you choose to "see" and focus your time and energy on.

This is an interesting time that we are going through right now, no doubt about it. As COVID-19 does it’s thing, you have to adapt to new ways of performing your regular activities such as work, grocery shopping, exercise, shopping in general, and so forth.

You can look at these changes in two ways:


1. Focus on how it is negatively affecting you.... bitch about the upheaval in your life or how big your arse is getting from sitting in front of the TV (guilty!)....gripe about how you can’t wait for things to get back to normal…and so forth.
(Reading this, can’t you just feel the negative, "dark" energy??)

                                                                      OR

2. You can use this event, this blip in your lifetime as a teachable moment. What good has come from this? What new (healthy) habits have you created? Which old (unhealthy) habits have you let go of? What great things and lessons learned will you bring with you moving forward, how can you create a better life for you?
(Ahhh…the heaviness is lifting and the light is beginning to shine 😊.)


Instead of complaining about all of the things that you can’t do, take stock of the good things that you have been doing.

For example:

- Instead of complaining about all of the things that you can’t do, take stock of the good things that you have been doing. Personally, I now spend more time walking and hanging out in nature, than I have in a long time!

- By not having the same spending "freedom" as you had before maybe you’ve saved some money.

- Maybe you’ve come to realize that many of the things that you "needed" to buy and spend money on before, turned out to be things you only wanted.

- Now that you have been forced to be more creative about how you spend your time, maybe you’ve taken up a new hobby or revived an old one.

I’m not flitting around, wearing blinders and singing "la la la la la" trying to make light of the situation nor am I ignoring the fact that lives have been lost during the pandemic.


What I am saying is yes, these things happened and it’s OK to acknowledge them, and learn from them but the key here is that you don’t need to hold onto them.


 You can choose to let go of the 'darkness'. 

You don’t need to make it the constant topic of your conversations or spend time listening to every report from a dozen different media sources, you don’t need to give negative subjects your constant focus and energy. …you can choose to let go of the "darkness".


You get to choose your perception of a situation.


The same applies to improving your financial situation. Many people think that following a spending plan or budget could be a light form of torture, depriving them of all things great; putting them in a position where the purse has been glued shut, leaving them to scrimp and save until their debt is paid off.
(Hello "darkness" my old friend….that is, the friend I want to ditch.)


Instead, following a spending plan can be looked upon as a way to help you live a life you love!

Wow! That sounds like a pretty heavy load for a spending plan to carry, right? But it isn’t…

Look at it this way…

First of all, if you have debt, that is one relationship that you need to be getting out of a.s.a.p. because it’s holding you back! The money that you are paying on debts (and interest) could be better used elsewhere. Getting out of debt is probably one of your most important financial goals.

Secondly, while you’re paying off your debt, your life does not go have to go on hold. Realistically, depending on your situation, it may take you a while to get out the debt but this doesn't mean you still can't live a life that you love! As your Money Coach…I want you to be loving your life …right now! I don't want you to make it a reward that you can only access AFTER you kick your debt to the curb.

What?? Can this be??

It sure can, and here’s one way to make it happen: instead of buying things to fill a space (inside of you or outside of you), you create a spending plan based on your values and what’s important to you.

Yes, debt repayment is a part of the plan but when you determine what your values are, you spend money only on the things and experiences that reflect what's important to you ...this is how you start to live a life you love!

How friggin’ awesome is that!??

You DO have the power of choice, it's one of your greatest superpowers!

Obviously there is more to it than that and it does take time to re-wire old thought patterns, but you DO have the power of choice. It's one of your greatest superpowers.

You can choose to live a life filled with darkness ( Fear, anger, misery, lack and deprivation and everything that goes with it) or

……. a life filled with light (abundance, gratitude, happiness, joy, peace, love, creativity, and everything that goes with that.)


It’s much easier for us mere mortals to default to the darkness but by making small changes and being patient and mindful, you can spend more time living your life in the light.

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6/16/2020

you don't need a crystal ball to see your future

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" YOU ARE MORE PRODUCTIVE BY DOING FIFTEEN MINUTES OF VISUALIZATION THAN FROM SIXTEEN HOURS OF HARD LABOUR." 
-     Abraham Hicks
​Chances are, at some point or another you’ve spent a little (or a lot) of time daydreaming of the life you desire.

Daydreaming is awesome! Not only do you see the picture of what you want to achieve but you feel the emotion that goes with it. I mean, what’s the point of hanging out in a daydream if you don’t feel some level of happiness or joy about it, right?

But what if your daydreams had a purpose other than that of passing time or escaping reality?

What if you used these daydreams in a more strategic way, as a tool to help you achieve your financial goals and make your desired life a reality?

This my friend, is where visualization comes in, it's a bumped up version of daydreaming or as Bo Bennett puts it, "Visualization is daydreaming with a purpose."


You don’t need a crystal ball to see your future…you can design it instead!


It all starts with your value-based goals and the things that are important to you. Maybe your goal is to get out of debt. That's a great start, but why? What does getting out of debt mean for you?


What does it look like? Be specific, you want to see all of the details. What are you doing? Who is with you? What do your days look like? And so on.

What emotions can you attach to your goals? How do you feel when you imagine achieving them? Are you excited? Filled with joy? Happiness? Pride?

Use your senses in your visualization. What do you see? Are there any specific sounds you hear? What can you taste? What aromas can you smell? Is there anything you can touch?

Write down as much detail as you can. You want to be able to create a vivid mental picture of it, so vivid that you feel like you are living it!

Maybe reading your description is enough to get you motivated and to keep you motivated, but if you want to be more, create something more visual, a drawing, or a painting or a collage of pictures. Or maybe you would prefer to put it in a song!  

It’s up to you, let your creative juices start flowing and do whatever you need to do to help you keep a clear mental picture of your goal, with all of the emotion and the sensuality of it!

The next part is to visualize the process of reaching your goal. What steps do you need to complete to reach your goal?

"See" yourself completing each step, how does it feel? Which of your senses is being engaged?

As Frank Niles, Social Scientist puts it, "It is a powerful way to achieve positive, behavioral change and create the life you desire."

Visualization can help you stay focused on your destination,  but it alone does not guarantee success in achieving your goals. There is more to the process than just thinking and dreaming about reaching your goals, you also have to engage in the activities that are aligned with them.


So what do you want? What does your desired life look like?

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6/9/2020

Does your 'money story' need a rewrite?

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“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, LEAVE.”  
​- 
Mo Willems
A “money story” or “money script” is a belief about money that guides a person’s financial behaviours.

These are the stories that children learn from their own experiences with money, their parents’ money stories and their parent’s attitude towards money, as well as from other influences.

Whether or not you are aware of it, we all have money stories and they create the financial habits that we carry into adulthood. Good or bad, these stories and scripts play beneath the surface, subconsciously guiding our actions.

In his research at Kansas State University, Brad Klontz, PsyD, financial psychologist, and his team found a link between specific money scripts and lower incomes and net worth.

“Specifically, money avoidance scripts (e.g. ‘Money is unimportant,’ ‘Rich people are greedy’), money worship scripts (‘More money will make me happier’), and money status scripts (‘Your self-worth equals your net worth’) are all associated with poor financial outcomes,” he said.


So what does this mean for you?

A picture of a healthy relationship with money may include spending that reflects your values, being debt-free or having a plan to become debt-free, setting and achieving financial goals and having money to cover your expenses, even the unplanned ones.

If your relationship with money is not the picture of health it may be time to take a closer look at your own money story and do a little rewriting.

Changing money stories will take time and you have to be willing to dig a little (or a lot) and bare your financial soul. These stories can really have a negative impact on people and in some cases, they can be debilitating.

Should you feel this is too much for you to take on by yourself, seek professional help, give yourself a big pat on the back and congratulate yourself for taking the steps you need to in order to improve your relationship with money!

If you feel that this is something that you can do on your own, but you’re not really sure how to start rewriting your money story…here are 9 crucial steps to reshape your money story and improve your finances.

Identify your money story.
Write down all the negative money stories that you are telling yourself and living out. For example: “I’ll never get out of debt.” Or “I only get jobs with low pay.”

Understand where your story comes from.
By understanding that these stories are not yours, but are conditioned beliefs instilled by your parents and other influences, you can begin to separate yourself from them and create your own story.

Find proof that your current money story is not accurate.
Begin by seeking out at least 3 experiences or pieces of evidence that disprove each story you’re telling yourself.

Your self-worth does not equal your net worth.
Your net worth is the value of your assets minus your liabilities. It does not reflect who you are as a person.

Create a new money story and live it.
What is your ideal money story. What purposeful actions can you take to help you live it?

Start with baby-step changes and commit to one at a time.
Change is difficult but if you choose and commit to small changes, you will increase your chances of creating new financial habits and achieving your goals.

Be willing to forgive yourself.
The will be bumps along the road to changing your money story but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t possible. You have to realize that even with a new money story, life is not perfect and you have to be able to forgive yourself if some things don’t go as planned. If you fall, get up, dust yourself off and keep moving forward.

Visualize your habits.
Have a means to “see” what your money habits are and what your plan is. This could be a spreadsheet on your computer or it could be an app or it could be something as easy as using a pencil and paper. The idea is to be able to visualize what you are doing instead of leaving it as a vague thought in your mind.

Educate yourself.
If you don’t understand the basics of money management, it can keep you from changing your mindset and rewriting your money story. Being afraid to invest in yourself (time, money, or both) will keep you from moving forward. The more educated you are about personal finance, the more confident you will be to try to improve your situation. Read books, listen to podcasts, invest in a coach. Do whatever it takes to get you on the right path.


Your money story is the driver of your financial behaviours and negative ones can block you from achieving financial wellness and success (whatever success may look like to you).

​Take the time to reflect on your stories and ask yourself if they are serving your best interest if they aren't, what are you going to do to change it?

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6/2/2020

You didn't get a visit from the "debt fairy"

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When people look to change something in their lives, many tend to go the "all or nothing" route. If they want to lose weight, they want it to happen as quickly as possible but rarely take the time to think about their journey to get where they are.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I know that I didn’t wake up one morning to find that the "fat fairy" had made a deposit to my mid-section! I saw the numbers creeping up on the scales, I felt my pants get tighter but I chose to ignore it until I couldn’t.

It’s the same with debt. There’s no "debt fairy" popping in during the night, screwing with your finances and leaving you with a pile of debt. Chances are, there were signs along the way that you didn’t see or chose to ignore. You knew it was happening but you didn't know how to react to it or how to fix it, and that’s OK…"No Judgment Zone" here…

True, life happens…relationships break down, jobs are lost, health issues or maternity leave mean reduced incomes. But there are ways to create a financial safety net to protect you, just in case…however, many people choose not to do anything until they are forced to.

So how do you start creating your financial safety net?

Well, after you figure out how you "got here" and what’s "keeping you here"…it’s time to make some changes. Yes, that’s right, changes….
C-H-A-N-G-E-S. Think about it, do you really think that you can continue doing the same thing but get different results? It doesn’t work that way.


Change can be a pain and it can be slow. Face it, you will probably screw up and you might want to give up…but don’t; think about why you need to make these changes. What do you want to achieve, what’s in it for you?

You can choose to live a fulfilling life by taking control of your money and spending money in a way that reflects your values. If it doesn’t make you happy, why do it?

Make the changes gradually. Don’t do a money crash-diet, it takes time to build a habit and if you truly want to make more successful changes in your life, don’t overwhelm yourself. Trying to change too much, too quickly is a recipe for failure.

Let’s use the ever relatable weight loss scenario as an example:

You have followed the program of choice, it’s been a long slow process but you’ve learned lots and lost some weight. Woohoo, you go girl!

But what happens next?

You’ve learned and implemented new and healthier habits and "maintenance" techniques. You have also made other healthy changes in your life…. instead of munching on chips and chocolate at work because you are stressed or bored…..you get up and take a quick walk or even a five-minute meditation (or nap) while sitting in the ladies' room.


Chances are that you will continue to keep off the weight and live a healthier lifestyle because you’ve learned how to deal with the situations that send you into the "bad habit zone". No, this did not all happen overnight, but by making small changes gradually, you are able to keep up this lifestyle without feeling deprived and overwhelmed.

Alternately, you followed the latest weight-loss craze, yes it was a bit drastic and you restricted the foods you ate and may have even stopped eating certain food groups, but you did it!! You no longer have to ask "Does this dress make my butt look big?" because you know it doesn’t.

Whew! Success, finally!

Now what?

Hmm.... OK, well, you can continue restricting the foods you eat....however….

…. a little treat here and there surely wouldn't hurt anything. Right? I mean, you have lost the excess weight and you know that you can always follow the program anytime you want.
So how about a few chips and maybe some chocolate? …. No harm done.

Then it happens, what a blowout at work (or home)! You are fit to be tied. Where is that ice cream?? You are going to teach your boss (or your spouse) not to treat you like that. That’s right, you are going to teach them one heck of a lesson, you are going to sit there and you are going to eat whatever you want, because you can and they will be so friggin’ sorry that they messed with you!


Time passes, the ice cream (treats) are gone and everything is calm again, but ever so slowly you slip back into your old eating habits and before you know it, not only have you regained the weight you lost and more, but your muffin top now looks like it belongs on a shelf in Costco!!  

Money problems can work the same way, there are short term (band-aid) solutions that will take care of the immediate issues or you can go gung-ho with the all-or-nothing approach…but realistically, it’s not sustainable. When you start depriving yourself…it won’t be long before the rebel in you breaks out and goes mad-ass crazy!

I mean seriously, do you want to live a life of deprivation? I think not.

Slow and steady wins the race! You are more likely to reach your financial goals by taking baby steps.

None of us are perfect and if you slip up, so what?

It’s OK…you can get back on track and continue the journey!

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    Glenda Barrington
     
    I am passionate about helping women gain the knowledge and skills to get out of debt....stay out of of debt, and bring joy into their lives...even while following a budget!

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