"Trying to live a rich, wealthy life when you have a poor relationship with money is like trying to drive a car with one foot on the accelerator and the other one on the brakes. You may occasionally make some progress but in the end no matter how hard you try you never seem to really get anywhere."
- Paul McKenna, Ph.D.
Do you ever sit back and think about your relationships with the people in your life?
Chances are, you do…especially if one of them is a little rocky. You probably mull over it, think about what’s wrong…what you can do to fix it and so forth. If you’re anything like me, you analyze the crap out of it!
Relationships with family, friends, lovers, co-workers or the people that just happen to be in your life are an important part of life as a whole and realistically they are important to your survival.
But what about you and your money? Have you ever taken the time to sit down and look closely at that relationship?
Whether or not people realize it, their relationship with money plays a huge role in their financial success – success being whatever it looks like to the individual. The money stories they tell themselves can guide them to wealth or prevent them from achieving it.
Money is a tool used to allow us to exchange goods and services…that’s it. However, many people have given a deeper meaning to it…they are connected emotionally to money through their beliefs around it.
You are not born with these beliefs. Good or bad, these beliefs are conditioned beliefs…they are the beliefs instilled in you by your parents and caregivers and other influences from your childhood.
These beliefs guide you unconsciously…
If you believe you have to work hard to make money, you will only look for jobs that involve a lot of effort. If you believe that everyone is out to rip you off, you will find people who will do that. If you believe that you deserve great wealth, then your mind will look for opportunities that create that.
It’s time to let go of the negative stories that you’ve been telling yourself about money!
It’s great if your money stories are leading you to a life of wealth and riches but if they aren't….well, you need to be figuring out which stories are playing in your head and re-write the ones that are holding you back. It’s time to let go of the negative stories that you’ve been telling yourself about money!
Some people can do this on their own…some need support, either way, …this is a first step that needs to be taken so you can break up with your debt and create a life that excites you!
What does your relationship with money look like? What does money mean to you?
Here is an exercise you can try.
Answer the following questions and then, to dig a little deeper, question your responses, ask "why"? Journal about the thoughts and emotions that come up.
- If money is the topic of conversation, do you feel comfortable talking about it or do you try to avoid the conversation?
- How do you feel when you pay your bills? Resentment, worry, scarcity, gratitude, or some other feeling?
- What beliefs around money did you inherit from your parents/guardians?
- What do you remember most about your childhood, in regards to money?
- If someone gives you money (or anything of value) how do you feel about it? Happy, grateful, uncomfortable, unworthy, indebted o,r some other feeling?
- How do you feel about your income? Satisfied, happy or feel that you are not getting paid enough, yet you continue doing the same work for the same pay?
- Do you hang onto money or do you spend it freely?
- Do you put off important things like car repairs or dental work because of the cost? What about if you have the money to pay for it, do you still put it off?
- Do you attach how much money you have to your self worth?
- How do you feel about people who have very little money?
- How do you feel about people who have a lot of money?
- What do you value most: money, material things, or experiences?
Do you see any areas where your beliefs may be holding you back from achieving financial success?
This exercise is a great start to get you thinking about your relationship with money…is it a love story?
If it isn’t, it’s time to start nurturing your relationship with money and strengthening it because whatever meaning you are attaching to money is either drawing it closer or pushing it away.
When you have a healthy relationship with money, you feel satisfied, not stressed out over it.
Remember, you are worth the time it takes to figure this out!